Top Ten Things That Make Men Happy

Ten points that Every Guy Loves, No Matter What

Pop culture loves to portray all of us males given that easier associated with types; monosyllabic, bbw sex site-obsessed knuckle-draggers, having all range of a kiddie swimming pool; every predictability of an occurrence. Ply united states with alcohol, pulled pork, UFC, and/or boobs, and we’re putty inside hands, right?

Incorrect. We’re innovative, unstable, super-complicated snowflakes — the tastes more diverse, a lot more amazing than a goddamn Oriental bazaar. Fact is, we’re therefore multi-layered it is going to bump you on your butt.

Right here, after that, is actually an inventory 10 of the things that make united states delighted, and prepare to get astonished or, perhaps not surprised at all because, like I stated, we’re unpredictable.

1) Feats Of Non-Strength

Darts. Horseshoes. Ladder Toss. Beyond the hallowed industries of play would be the hallowed vehicle parking a lot and backyards of beverage, and where here end up being beverage, there will be tasks — non-athletic tasks, nevertheless needing remarkable ability, but without any risk of elevating heart rates or splitting sweats. These types of pursuits also manage united states a totally free hand to keep all of our drink and/or fist-bump and/or high-five, in order that makes it further amazing. 

2) You Constructed That!

From the manly pleasure you believed after sculpting that crap-tacular mom’s time porcelain ashtray circa 1994 Arts & Crafts, to gazing in happy wonder at your very first diaper-destroying poo, to building the girlfriend’s Ikea MALM, we all have been hardwired to bask from inside the joy of making something; The pleasure of conclusion. (A corollary of your may be the happiness of Demolition, particularly as it pertains to foolish Ikea home furniture.)

3) “Pushing It Down”

That is what comedian Bill Burr calls the workout of a person attempting, no matter what, to keep his composure, denying himself any exhibition of emotion, even yet in by far the most dire of situations, whereby it would or else end up being totally permissible so that loose with a ridiculous whimper or, as situations dictated, a banshee wail. But a person does not allow themselves such indulgences. Getting obvious: it is not the bottling up your own feelings that renders you happy; it’s the lacking to endure another man’s mental outburst that brings all of us the true pleasure. Basically genuinely wish to discover emotion, it will likely be my, and it’s anytime We cue upwards that Volkswagen advertising making use of Darth Vader child — it gets me personally every time.

4) how can We Put This Politely… 

what you may refer to it as — a hummer, a beej, fellatio, oral satisfaction — it doesn’t need much explanation. The medical basis for the reason why it does make us happy is mainly because the pleasure stores get rocked like a goddamn hurricane. The mental cause is that we become a front row seat to a lady we no less than sort of like being very gross for all of us, and you by yourself. That renders us pretty happy. Various other development, fire is actually hot.

5) Intelligence Masquerading As Stupidity Masquerading As Intelligence

There’s reasons the brilliant creators with the loves of Ron Burgundy, Kenny Powers and Homer Simpson have therefore thoroughly taken the hearts: viewing a good actor pretend he’s a man therefore foolish he believes he is a wizard is merely terribly satisfying. Presenting readers with such an effective blend of arrogance and ineptitude is, together with jazz, the fantastic US artform. Their particular antics include source of countless hours of our joy and, to quote Mr. Burgundy: “You should not become you aren’t satisfied.”

6) McGuyvering

It’s quite pertaining to the “building a stuff” thing, however the character of McGuyvering is far more about a guy’s impulse to improvise and correct whatever requirements fixing because of the restricted sources available, and also the a lot more unconventional the remedy, the higher. These solutions would ultimately fail but, until they do, there is a distinct feeling of excitement we experience, knowing we been able to correct that moped/toilet/rollerblades/Xbox control with just all of our bare fingers, energy of might, and a metric lot of duct recording.

7) TVs In Random Places

This integrates our very own pleasure of staring at shiny things with our passion for gadgetry, combined in together with the ethos to do things simply because we can, man: from Dick Tracy’s original television wristwatch, to Elvis’ infamous television graveyard/target selection, to fundamentally every bout of that included a television within a car or truck’s sunshine visors/headrest/center console/hubcaps, to those hotel restroom decorative mirrors with, you thought it, embedded small TVs; all of them awesome while making you laugh.

8) a puppy sporting Sunglasses, looking at A Surfboard


You will find no clue, but that reply to why is one smile is actually, more often than not, “looking at a picture of a puppy with shades on a surfboard.” There is occasionally some difference — it could alternatively be a skateboard, and/or shades could possibly be replaced with a monocle, but that would be less possible certainly. Point staying, the opinion is not any different picture, short of His Excellency The Pope, or possibly Jesus, or Lemmy from Motörhead rocking away so damn tough, garners much more smiles compared to dog/surfboard combo. It is simply the “Damn bro, did I really simply extract this down? I assume I did,” expression on the dog’s face. He’s carrying it out for people. He’s sporting, he is down for a great time, but guy is cool regarding it. If you’re men and can’t smile at this, your face might be damaged and that I’m sorry.

9) compact Things

Portability demonstrably means being able to move the awesomeness of your favourite thing and, by doing this, offering delight wherever you decide to go. Battleship ended up being the maximum game previously. (i am told Candyland has also been outstanding but we never played it considering that the assumption appeared unlikely) But Travel Battleship? Also cooler — cooler than wake-surfing behind the U.S.S. Nimitz. Bongs are very cool. The transportable snowboard fix system that transforms into a miniature one-hitter? Ice cold. Custom chopper bicycle? Very cool. Minibike? Miles-fist-bumping-Elvis levels of cool. Barbecue tobacco user? Rather rad and likely why the terrorists hate us. Barbecue smoker attached with a trailer hitch, ready for any open path? Precisely why the terrorists wouldn’t win.

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10) Repetition, Repetition

The inside laugh or discussed anecdote is a nice and intoxicating thing — like a solid swig of Kentucky Bourbon. Nevertheless the sly and constant call-back to said anecdote, also, say, years afterwards? Well, that there is your Lagavulin solitary malt — suitably aged and that so much more satisfying. Such as that time in 2006 if your friend Jer turned up to an outdoor barbeque in the unnecessarily short short pants. Countless entertaining reviews ensued about Jer’s “nice calves” and “epic upper thighs” — also it naturally couldn’t stop there. Even years afterwards, the subject of Jer’s Killer Gams nonetheless arises — actually at his wedding ceremony toast — bringing fun and delight to many men.